Waldeinsamkeit

So I should be studying…

but instead I find myself here, and on facebook and twitter talking to people. It’s this stupid Leaving Certificate thing, which is, for any of my followers who aren’t Irish, the biggest exam in an Irish student’s life and pretty much determines your entire future. I’m getting really stressed over because I’ve set myself these really high standards and I’m working hard, but I still feel like I’m not doing enough. 

And what the worst thing about the Leaving Cert is, is that it’s taken over pretty much my entire life. Sure I have my Facebook, but other than that my life has been pretty much eat, sleep and study. There’s piles of books in my room waiting to be read, a sketchbook and pencils just SITTING there waiting to be experimented with but I can’t use them. I know if I get into something like a good book I’ll end up getting drawn right in, and by the time I manage to pull myself out It’ll be 3-4 hours later and I’ll have an anxiety attack because I’m not studying enough. Maybe anxiety attack is a bit OTT in terms of describing it, but I do get very worried and end up feeling worse that I already do. My Tumblr’s been sitting here without any posts, 96 followers waiting patiently for something but there’s nothing because my entire life has suddenly become preoccupied with this massive exam, and I want to post stuff, I do. But I can’t…

And even worse than that is the degradation of my social life. My best friend, who I’ve never had an argument with, is pissed off and possibly not even talking to me now because I made a stupid mistake and I’m not talking to him anywhere near as much as I should. 

It’s about 2 and 1/2 weeks until this is over with, and I can enjoy my life again. I just hope now that damage that is/going to be made in the next few weeks can either be repaired or just doesn’t happen, because at the end of it all I just want to have fun and be with my friends and be a teenager… for my last year before I leave for college and become an adult.

One Day in August - Chapter 5

That morning I woke up, and I had completely forgotten about everything that happened the day and night before. I opened my eyes, and expected to see the bland white colour of my apartment ceiling, and then, turning over, to see my digital alarm clock telling me what time it is. Instead, I was greeted with the fluttering blue material of the tent as it flapped in the wind, and turning over I could see Karkos sleeping on the other bedroll on the other side of the tent. I realized everyone else was still asleep, so I lay in bed for a little while and went over what happened; the forest, meeting Karkos and Ingenia, the stars, Welbret, magic, The Circle, The Ceremony of Ascension… all of it came flooding back and as it did I couldn’t help but smile. I was already starting my own personal little adventure, and today I was going to be learning how to wield magic. But then I remember what Karkos had explained to me; it was a mentally taxing, exhausting process, and again I already felt the pressure, even more so than yesterday. As much as I was looking forward to learning how to use magic, I was already balking at the idea of failing.

Unable to go back to sleep as usual, I quietly slipped out of the covers and put my shoes back on, silently pulling back the canvas door of the tent and walking out into the fresh air of the Cliffside. Last night there wasn’t a whole lot visible, some of the taller trees rose up over the horizon, but due to combination of the darkness and my bad-eyesight (I had just remembered that I never brought my glasses) I couldn’t see very far. Now however the entire view was spread out before me and it was spectacular: In the clear blue sky, a bald eagle spread its wings and flew majestically over the entire scene, nonchalantly drifting on the crest of the breeze. Below it, a vast forest, larger that I had ever seen back in Earth, went right over the horizon; accept directly ahead, where, about a mile away, a large lake was visible in the distance. The sun rose triumphantly over the lake, and even in the distance you could see it the light of the morning sun playing on the flowing surface of the water. To the left a large mountain range reared high up into the sky, and all along it a stone path had been carved, either through natural forces or by magic, right over the forest and towards the north assumingly towards the Sanctum. Seeing the huge scene before me just made me want to shout and hear my voice echo out over the entirety of the world, but knowing Karkos and the rest were still asleep I managed to restrain myself, and found myself content to sit out over the forest on the edge of the cliff.  When I was sitting there, still really unable to comprehend what’s been happening, still unable to wrap my head around everything, I could help but feel immensely happy. I always liked change, embraced and went along with it, but back on Earth there was never any change; it was constantly static, the world constantly rotating and completing the same cycle over and over again. Secretly I wished for the collapse that society said was so imminent, at least then perhaps we would get the change that, something which I think a lot of people needed in order to open their eyes in order to recognize how messed up everything really is. I never really spoke about it with anyone, I didn’t want to sound like some kind of socialist, communist weirdo who constantly complains about how “the system is messed up, maaaan” but that’s just how I felt. To finally get away from it all know brought such a sense of relief, a sense of possibility. Here anything was truly possible, and all you needed to do was reach and grasp it.

                 “Nervous about today?” A voice asked, from behind me.  I was a little bit frightened, but thankfully didn’t fall off the cliff. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”. I looked behind me and Welbret was there, no longer dressed in his black cloak. Instead he was dressed in a simple pair of trousers and a white, tunic-like shirt.

I laughed. “It’s fine, Welbret, don’t worry” I smiled, and stood up. “What’s with the white tunic-like thing you’re wearing?”

He looked down at his shirt. “This?” He said, grabbing the shirt with index finger and thumb, “Oh, I know it’s a bit weird but trust me you’ll get used to it. It’s the style here in Aetheria, for some reason. If I knew how to make clothes myself I’d make something that suited my style a little bit more, but unfortunately I don’t so I’ll just have to make do.”

                “Didn’t you pack any clothes before you left with Karkos?” I asked.

                “No, I really just took a spur of the moment, trust your guts and go with it decision. There wasn’t a lot of thinking involved,” He explained, “But I still think it was the best decision of my life. Sometimes in retrospect I look back and think ‘oh, I should have brought this, or I should have brought that’ but mostly I’m happy with my decision. Here I’m much happier. Life here is so much more rewarding and inspiring, y’know?”

                “Hmm, I get you…” He was certainly right. I was here for all but a day and I still feel happier than I pretty much ever did while I was at home.

                “So are you worried about today?” He asked, “Y’know, because of the Ceremony of Ascension?”

I sighed. “Yeah, I am. I have no idea what to do… I’m really scared about missing my chance or something, and I’m going to end up as looking like a failure in some way to everyone.”

                “Can I ask you a question?”

                “Yeah, go ahead.”

                “Have you ever had an operation?”

That was a strange question to ask. I was pretty sure it didn’t have anything to do with the conversation we were having, but I answered it anyway out of politeness.

                “Uh, yeah…I have. Why?”

He laughed. “I know that might seem like a strange question, but trust me I’m getting to that,” He explained. “So if you’ve had an operation, you understand what it’s like to be put under, right?” I nodded. “Good, so imagine you’re going in for an operation, and the doctors have somehow managed to develop a machine that allowed you to stay awake while you were dreaming under aesthetic, and you were able to do whatever you wanted in the dream. Have you ever heard of the concept before?”

Strangely enough I had. I remember interviewing yet another band member about where they got their inspiration from, and they explained to me that they got their ideas through a process he described as ‘lucid dreaming’. He said it was basically remaining conscious while still dreaming, and controlling the dream to the extent that you’re pretty much god. This band was really ‘out-there’, and hippy-like, so I completely disregarded it as some stoner bullshit. This sounded quite a bit what that guy was talking about though. “Yeah, I’ve heard of it before. Is it called lucid dreaming?”

His eyes lit up. “Exactly! That’s exactly what it is! I remember when I was still trying to get my job as an accountant the idea of lucid dreaming was only really starting to break out into the mainstream, and people were looking at it a bit funny as if to say it sounded like something junkies or stoners would do. But it’s quite real, I assure you.”

                “So what as this got to do with doctors and the Ceremony of Ascension?”

                “I’m getting there, don’t worry! So yeah, again, imagine you’re going in for an operation, but instead of the doctors it’s The Circle who’s operating on you, and they use their magic to put you under and keep you awake while you’re dreaming. That’s what the Ceremony of Ascension is.”

I was a bit confused. Karkos said it was much more exhausting than that. “Wait, hold up. I thought this whole thing was supposed to be really tiring?”

                “Oh it is, mentally. See, something I didn’t realize about the lucid dreaming phenomenon, and something I don’t think anyone has really realized up to this day, is that through the entire process, you can literally speak with your subconscious.”

As soon as I said that I wanted to do it straight away. I immediately thought it was an opportunity to speak with whatever it was that slept within me. And I knew it slept there. It was always there, waiting to come out, but I could never find a way. Was that what the magic was, that presence that I always felt inside of me waiting to be released? Is that what the Ceremony of Ascension was, to finally free that which I knew slept within? “Wow…that’s…that’s amazing.” I was truly at a loss for words.

                “I know, right? It’s an amazing experience for the most part, but it takes a quite a bit of an ordeal to get there—have you ever felt that it’s there’s something holding you back, something within you inhibiting you from truly reaching your true potential?”

It was true. I never really knew what it was that literally held me back, but I suspected that there was also something inside me, something malevolent, which prevented me coming into contact with my potential. “…Yeah, I think I understand.”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s your Shadow. You need to get it out of the way in order to reach your potential. You need to metaphorically battle with your own personal demons in order to come into contact with the magical part of your psyche.”

Now I wasn’t so sure I wanted to do it anymore. Battling with inner demons? I was never a fighter. I remember, late at night, between 2am and 3am at night, during the times I used to walk out into the city, all of the sounds of the city seemed to suspicious melt away into silence. It was there, during the time, when I truly became aware of the battle that was raging in me, when my personal demons were at their loudest and when I came closest to being them. It was a struggle to repress them. I gulped “And if I lose this battle? If my personal demons win?”

                “Then you remain trapped in your mind. Forever”

My heart literally skipped a beat.

                “Trapped in my mind!? Welbret, I—I can’t do this! I didn’t know so many risks were involved. I didn’t know I was possibly going to end up stuck in my own head for—for god knows how long!” I was starting to panic, frantically looking around for something that would help, but of course there was nothing. I wasn’t like I could run away, I didn’t know where I was going or what was out there, and I was completely defenceless. If I came into contact with one of the predators Karkos talked about, I’d be as good as dead.

                “Harlow, calm down, it’s okay! Please, relax, breathe, its okay, it’s not that bad,” He grabbed hold of my shoulders. “Listen, no one has ever, and I mean ever, fallen to that fate. Even someone like me, the awkward accountant with no friends, was able to get passed it! It’s scary, I’m not going to lie, and it’s not a walk through the park, but trust me, you’ll be fine.”

I took a deep breath and relaxed for a minute. Take a chance to sit down and analyse the options and the pros and cons of each choice; I can face the Ceremony of Ascension and my inner demons, and probably come out triumphant with new power, or I could be a coward and run away. I could end up being permanently boxed into my own head if I end up failing, or I could come away with a new control over magic. I could run away, and probably survive in the wilderness with nothing to defend myself. Probably. “What other options do I have?”

                “Well, as far as I know if someone changes their mind before they take the Ceremony of Ascension,  they can be returned back to the normal world, but their memory of everything, The Circle, Aetheria, The Ceremony, Magic, will all be erased and they’ll simply wake up one morning and continue with their lives. But that’s as far as options go, unfortunately” He sighed.

Well, I had come this far I suppose. There was no point coming all the way out here only to ask them to go back again. Regardless, there was no way I was going to go back to all that after seeing what this world had to offer. I had to at least try, and if I get trapped in my mind, I at least I know I gave it the best I could.

                “Okay,” I sighed, “I’ll do it. I have no choice.”

                “Is everything okay over there?” Came a voice by the tents. It was Karkos; he’d gotten dressed in his usual black cloak and emerged from the blue tent. I didn’t even notice.

                “Yeah, everything’s fine, we’re okay” I called back.

                “Good. You two better start getting ready, we’re leaving fairly soon.” He turned back to the tent and started rummaging inside it, getting things ready for the journey.

Welbret took a step back from me. “I guess that’s my cue to get my stuff together. Listen, like you said last night, we’re in this together; we can help each other through this. I’m here if you need to me”

I smiled at him “Thanks, Welbret, I’ll keep that in mind”

He moved into his tent to back his things, and it wasn’t long before Ingenia emerged from her tent, alone, raising her hands above her head in a massive yawn. I walked over to her. “Ingenia, Karkos said we need to pa-“

“I heard him, Harlow” She replied, cutting me short. “I’m getting my things ready now.”

She was really starting to annoy me. Maybe her shortness last night could have been put down to tiredness, but here she was now after just getting a good night’s sleep. It wasn’t going to be much longer before I snapped. “Okay, Ingenia, whatever.” I walked away and left her too it, but now with no one to talk to, I realized I had nothing to do. I had nothing to pack, nothing I needed to bring with me. I still had my iPod in my pocket (I couldn’t bring myself to throw it off the cliff) so I popped one of the earphones in and listened to some music. I noticed Welbret was struggling with packing up the tent also, so I decided to go over and help him. Soon enough we had it rolled and ready to carry and he threw it, along with a bag over his shoulder. We quickly got rid of the vestiges of the campfire we had last night, and we soon set off. It was one thing seeing the scenery from a high view point, but seeing it in motion was quiet another; plants and animals, seen vaguely familiar and some completely outlandish, were seen on the path to the Sanctum.

                “That’s a Chaemise Plant,” explained Welbret, after I pointed out a long, green vine dangling from the dense canopy ending in a small purple flower. “It dangles from the canopy and attracts small insects like flies, yeah; we have them here too, to the flower. But then get this, the petals on the flower will close and actually eat anything small enough as soon as it touches the petals, like an inverted Venus fly-trap, and absorb the nutrients. Then those nutrients will pass up throw the fine and will help provide the leaves in the canopy with vital minerals and nutrients.”

                “Wow, that’s insane. Would they ever eat people?”

He shook his head “I don’t think so. I’ve never head a Chaemise growing large enough to swallow an entire person whole, but I’ve heard of stranger things happening. Karkos or Juno would be the people to ask about that.”

That’s when I remembered that I recognized where Welbret was from. “Oh, Welbret, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. Did you live in New York when you were back on Earth?”

                “Yeah, why”

                “Because I think I actually remember seeing missing person posters being put up around my area around 4 months ago.”

With that he slowed down his pace and began to think a little bit. “I guess I’m not surprised, but it’s a strange feeling knowing people are looking for you. Maybe I should have thought about family before I left, but like I said I just made a snap decision. There’s nothing that can be done about it now.”

I wondered if my family would do the same for me. How long would it take for them to find out I was gone? A week? Two? A month? I did live alone, I didn’t keep in contact with family, and it’s not like I had very many responsibilities to take care of considering I lost my job. Maybe Mr Mason would have a change of heart and try to re-hire me, finding out that I’ve disappeared? “Do you ever miss anyone back on Earth, Welbret? Girlfriends, family?”

                “Surprising not, no,” he said with a sigh, “I never really had a stable girlfriend, and me and my family weren’t on speaking terms by the time I left. To be honest I was happy to disassociate myself from them. There are a lot of memories there that I’d rather not have to bring back up, and they’re all to do with them.”

I nodded. “I see, that’s fine.”. From there the conversation pretty much ended, so I got my iPod and turned my music back on to admire the scenery again.

                “Harlow, what’s that in your ear?” I turned around and seen Karkos staring intently at my ear. Everyone had stopped, I assumed by his command, and were looking at me.

                “It’s an iPod, you’ve never seen one before?”

He looked confused. “No, I’ve never even heard of it before, what is it?”

                “It’s a small device which allows you to digitally carry around music,” Ingenia explained, “they’re quite useful.”

                “So it’s from the technological world?” He said. I nodded. “I don’t trust it.” He turned to Welbret. “Does it harm the environment?”

                “No, not really. Not that I know off.”

                “Then you may keep it,” He said, “I’m sorry if I alarmed you, it’s been a long time since I was in the technological world, and I’ve learned that it changes quite a lot while you’re gone.” We continued walking down the path. “It must be nearly 30 years now since Juno and the rest found me. She didn’t have grey hair then, she was in her mid-30’s herself at the time, and it was literally the day I had turned 18. I was an orphan, my parents dying in a fire at our home when I was 2 years old. Strangely enough both of my parents were only children, and their parents had died in the years previous, so I had nowhere to go. I ended up growing with other orphaned or abandoned children in an orphanage, but I was never able to get close to anyone. I never made friends and always kept to myself, and for the most part I was left alone. Left to myself all the time I became a very quiet, thought-filled individual, and eventually I started becoming disappointed with life. Like everyone here I felt something more to it which I couldn’t access, but could never exactly pin-point what it was. Thankfully, my potential was recognized, and word was sent that I had what was required to use magic. It was my 18th birthday, and like all the other ones people had forgotten about it, or least didn’t bother acknowledging it. I went to the beach that night, like most other nights when I needed to think, to be alone. It was pretty late, and I was just about to leave, when I noticed someone standing at the shore near to where I sat. They were staring out at the ocean, and their black cloak was billowing in the wind, the lapels catching in the breezing and fluttering in the air. I approached them, something told me to, when they spoke:

                “Do you like the ocean?’

                “Yeah…it’s quite calming and serene. I like staring out and imagining what’s out there. Even though we already know I suppose.”

                “In a world quickly becoming full with satellite technology, every scrap of sea, sky and water is being digitally recorded. It leaves no room for imagination, no room for mystery to exist. Still, staring out at the ocean it feels as though there is a vestige of it left. Does the ocean ever speak to you?”

                “I guess it does, in a way. Like you said, it feels like you can pretend that there’s still something there”

                “Well what you think if I said I could bring you somewhere you didn’t have to pretend anymore? Where what you’ve been searching for right up until this moment can be given to you?”

                “I say bring me there.”

Then they pulled back their hood, and introduced themselves as Juno, Messenger of the Circle. She explained to me everything about Aetheria, and magic, everything. I was intoxicated. I remember that she had flaxen blonde hair back then, but you could tell she was going on in years. After she finished telling me about Aetheria, she held out her hand.

                “This magical world, Aetheria, is right there for you to see. All you need do is take my hand, and I can bring you there.”

And then I took her hand, she smiled, and we were gone.”

Karkos finished his story just as we came to crossroads as the sun set.  In the middle, diverged as the roads were, was a signpost, the pale-wood plunged into the soil. To the right the road descended down into a valley, trees covering each side of the slope, and nestled into the middle, off a significant way into the distance, was a small village of stone and wooden huts. Smoke came from different chimneys of the houses, and in the middle of the village a small square with a stone fountain could be seen, with merchants packing up their wares after a long day of sales. The name “Esterline” was carved into the wooden panel which pointed in the town’s direction, done somewhat crudely with what seemed to be a knife. On the left however, the pathway done the opposite, rising up into towards the top of the valley where stone peaks reared up in sharp summits, the path winding behind them on a long, twisting trail. The name on the signpost read “The Sanctum” and it was done much more elegantly, the letters on the wood carved much more gracefully, done perhaps by magic.

Karkos took a quick glance at the sun’s position in the sky. “At this rate, we’re going to have to postpone the Ceremony until tomorrow.”

I didn’t mind the possibility of delaying the Ceremony, it gave me more time to mentally prepare and wrap my head around it. The prospect of being eternally lost within your own thoughts isn’t really a nice one.

Welbret leaned in beside me and whispered. “Don’t worry, it’s too late. You have until tomorrow.”

                “Thanks”. I swallowed back my fear. Little consolation, I suppose, but consolation none-the-less.

                “C’mon,” Karkos signalled to me and Welbret, “We’re heading this way” He started walking up the path towards the peaks, and we both followed in earnest. As we climbed, I could feel my ears popping; I guessed we were pretty high up. We followed the winding trail through the mountains, and once again we found ourselves surveying a vast scene once we passed through onto the other side. The land on the other side of the mountains was replaced with a vast sea, the dull roar reaching them up even here as the waves relentlessly threw themselves at the admonitory cliffs. Magic seemed to once again have a part in the formation of the pathway to the Sanctum, the stone hewn out through the mountain in direct passage to the Sanctum of the Circle.

Night when we finally reached the fortress, if you would call it that. It seemed part of the mountains itself, the massive stone walls towering up the massive heights, as big as, if not bigger, than some of the skyscrapers back home. The stars were out again, and beneath it this massive fortress of sheer rock was made visible in the silver light of the huge moon, its gargantuan proportions seated in a throne of stone. Monstrous black doors stood over our company in the flickering light of the torches set in the wall, and at the side, hanging over the ocean, wide windows were set into the face of the structure, letting in glittering streams of moonlight sparkle on the different rooms of the Sanctum. It was bigger than I even imagined.

                “Welcome Home, Harlow” Karkos said, with a dark smile. 

One Day in August - Chapter 4

At first I felt, and saw, nothing but darkness. I was floating, conscious and alive, in oblivion, for what seemed like a while. Strange echoes came to me from the blackness, voices perhaps, or just figments of my imagination. There was nothing but me in a vast expanse of emptiness, but then suddenly, from the nothingness, I was asked to open my eyes.

The first thing I seen were stars, thousands of them spread out in the piano black of night. When I say stars though, I mean stars; in the city they’re non-existent, light pollution causing them to die out and choke from the smog. Driving far from the city sometimes you’d get a nice view, much more visible somewhere where there wasn’t as much light. But I had never seen stars like this. Nebulae and constellations revealed themselves in the darkness, casting a spectacular canvas of purple, red, yellow and pink over the contrast of black. Countless stars, thousands, even millions, were set in the hollow, echoing beauty of space, sparking like precious diamonds. As I lay there on my back, barely conscious, I imagined them propelled by some mysterious godly dynamo, the heavens rotating ever so slowly in a magnificent display of natural beauty.  I was completely and utterly captivated. I always wanted to reach and touch them, connect in some way with the awe-inspiring magnificence of space, and it was here that I felt closer than ever. I felt like I was floating through space with them all, marvelling at their near incomprehensible radiance.  What caught me most, what seized my senses and pulled them towards it as soon as it came into view, was the moon. I remember reading somewhere, maybe a year ago, about how the moon was approximately 230000 miles away. Here though, it loomed over the horizon like a silver luminary giant, eclipsing half of the night sky with its massive size. Beneath it, a huge expanse of forestry spread out for what seemed forever, the glimmering moonlight illuminating patches of the dark forest where it slipped through the canopy. Off in the distance, I heard wolves howling at the night sky.

          “Is he awake?” I voice inquired from behind me, a few feet away.

          “I’m not sure,” they replied, the voice sounding familiar, “let me check” The gentle sound of the wind blowing was now interrupted by the heavy footsteps of the approaching man as he approached “Harlow? Are you awake?”

          “…Yes” I replied, quietly. I was still in awe over the night sky.

Karkos stepped closer, and then eventually sat down beside me on the Cliffside, joining me in my stargazing. “I don’t blame you being so quiet; it was the most beautiful things I had seen when I first came too. I didn’t know space was so beautiful, I thought it was just endless black that went on forever. But then I was brought here, and it has shown the truth; that given the right conditions, even that which is dark as night itself can shine magnificently”

I nodded silently in agreement, not wanting to pierce the silence. They seemed so delicate that if I were to disturb them, the stars would fall apart and scatter, never to be seen again. He turned to look at me, his dark brown eyes peering at me, glistening in the moonlight.

         “How was your journey?”

My journey…to be honest, I never remembered much of it. I remember the forest near the city, I remember the wind and the sound, but then after that, blackness. I felt some jolts and some jerks, but for the most part of the journey I was just…floating there.

I smiled. “Bumpy.”

Karkos belted out a throaty, heart-felt laugh, echoing off the mountain side and out into the forest. “I know, I’ve been there…” The conversation dissipated into the silence, both of us looking out silently into the vast scene before us, the spread of the trees beneath the sparkling heavens. Never did I see anything so beautiful before, and that part of me the lay deep within my chest jumped with joy upon seeing something amazing. I felt like this whole thing was meant for me and me alone, but here it was sharing it with someone who I knew appreciated it just as much as I did.

           “When I came here first, I had to rub my eyes about 20 times to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, and then pinched myself 20 times more to make sure I was dreaming. So much happened so fast, and I wasn’t able to process any of it; it was all so much to take in in such small time. But one word of advice; as beautiful as all this is, it’s also dangerous. I wouldn’t advice straying too far from where we’ve set up camp. There are things out there that are serious predators, and wouldn’t think twice about tearing you apart for food if you don’t have the means to defend yourself.”

With the new edge of danger added to this all, I felt so overwhelmed. Here I was, confronted with such amazing scenery and natural beauty, and on top of that I was now dealing with the adrenaline coursing through my veins like liquid energy as well as the fear of being attacked. Of course, here I was safe with Karkos and whoever else was accompanying me, but still the anticipation was exciting. Regardless of how scared I was, I smiled.

       “Where are we heading?” I asked him, sitting up and looking around me. Behind me, about five feet away, a small campfire fizzled in and out of life. Around it, three people sat, getting warm. It was only now that I realized how cold it was up here. Looking back out over the cliff, I saw how high up we were: The trees were massive, higher than most trees I had seen back at home, and still the cliff on which we were sitting sat high above them all. I stood up, and approached the fire where the shadowy figures were situated. One of the people, a young woman with long brown hair, looked up with her green eyes from the fire and spoke:

        “We’re heading to the Sanctum of the Circle. It’s not far away, about a day’s journey away.”

When they said a day I mentally reeled. “A day?! Why is it going to take so long? And why are we sitting out here in the cold? We could be driving right now!” I couldn’t understand why we weren’t staying warm in the heat of a car, or even flying to where we were if it was far enough to need a day’s journey after a night’s rest.

The woman sighed. “I knew Juno wouldn’t explain to you properly. Karkos, explain to him before I get aggravated.”

Karkos stood by the fire beside me. “Please excuse Ingenia, she’s just a little tired” He said with a certain amount of sarcasm. “Oh boy…where do I begin,” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “You were chosen for a reason, so I guess you’ll understand what I mean when I say nature is precious. It’s a beautiful, yet delicate and to be protected. It’s a whole host of interlinked systems, and in there’s some sorta consciousness. It’s like there’s god, or something else, making sure everything works right. That’s why, here, me make sure nothing messes with it. Anything to causes damage or takes too much from the balance is taken away, and so things like cars, planes, all that stuff that you’re used to back on Earth, it’s gone. People made the mistake of becoming greedy and thinking that the world had enough to sustain them forever, but soon enough they’re gonna be left without a source of energy, and they’re gonna need some quick thinking to get themselves out of a pretty tight spot. Besides, they’ve all lost touch with nature and they’re all lost and empty. That’s no way to live.”

        “So no phones, no transportation, no anything? It’s all natural?”

       “Yeah, pretty much”, he replied. “We know the technological world has its benefits, but if you depend on them too much you lose touch with life”

He had a point. I noticed one thing that really bugged me. With the introduction of social networking sites and such, people spent more and more time online sort of…cultivating this online persona. It was what they wanted to put forward, and people like them because of that, not because of who they really are. People become obsessed with presenting a perfect image, and eventually they begin to lose too much with reality. They spend more and more time online talking with friends who aren’t really friends. They’re not out in the open air, actually socialising. Instead they’re in a stifling, empty room in front of a computer screen, endlessly typing away on a keyboard. As much as these guys came across as hippy environmentalists, it really seemed to me they had a point. I couldn’t help but want to just jump into a car, or stick in a couple of earphones and fall asleep to some music, but of course, now that I was here, that wasn’t happening. Remembering that I had put my iPod and Phone away before I left the house, I dug my hand and extracted the rectangular touch phone out from my jacket. It was still operational, surprisingly, but the time constantly read 00:00 and there was no signal what-so-ever. Taking my iPod out, I realized that it still worked, but without any kind of outlet to charge it, it was soon going to die out and be of no use to me.

        “There’s no need for that anymore,” Karkos said, pointing at my phone, “None of us use any of these here, so you’re the only one who has one. Besides, there are no telecommunications poles anyway, so it’s completely redundant. So are those, by the way.” He nodded at the small bundle of notes that had tumbled out of pocket when I took out my phone. “People back in the technological world put too much emphasis on money and how it was used. At the end of the day it’s simply paper, and here it’s completely meaningless. We’ve got a completely different system here.”

        “I see…” I responded quietly. I thought about it for a moment and I realized it made sense: if I was somewhere completely new, I should’ve really known in advance that I wasn’t going to need money. I slowly walked back over to the edge of a cliff and stood at the precipice, looking out over the scene above and below. It was a strange feeling, knowing that money, something you had so much dependence on only a few hours ago, was now completely useless. The same applied to the phone; I needed it to keep in contact with people and to organise my schedule around work and gatherings. Here though that was all completely irrelevant. So, grabbing the notes and phone in my fist, I flung it out over the forest and into the trees and out over the Cliffside. The phone fell to the bottom with a crunch-worthy thud, but the notes fluttered and danced on the light breeze as the drifted to the bottom. There was something poetic in the movement, but I didn’t wait around to watch them fall to the forest floor, I was getting cold.

I moved back to the campsite and I sat down in front of the fire and looked around at my company. They were quietly chatting away amongst themselves, throwing in words and phrases I didn’t understand, terms that we’re completely alien to me but of course, considering Juno said it to me before I left, it’s only to be expected. It was then that I noticed the fire was flickering out of life.

        “The fire is nearly out; I’ll go find some more wood to stock it.”

Just then, Ingenia quietly raised her hand towards the fire, and in her palm a glowing, red hot ball of flames emerged, enveloping her entire hand. Then, without a word, she flicked it at the campfire and it flew, with lightning speed, to the dying fire, re-invigorating it and bringing it back from the dead. Immediately I jumped right back to my feet and jumped back a good few feet.

Ingenia sniggered under her breath. “Never seen magic before, Harlow? I guess I’m not surprised, we’re not allowed use magic outside of this world but Juno should have explained it to you before you left.”

        “In fairness Ingenia, we were in a rush,” Karkos answered, “There wasn’t really a whole lot of time for explanations.”

       “Yeah,” I said, speaking up, “Juno mentioned it to me the first time, but there was no way I believed her. I still kind of disbelieved her up until now, but I guess now everything she said was true…”

        “Maybe so, but that doesn’t excuse your ignorance. Magic did exist on Earth back long ago, and there was stories passed back over generation to generation. But here you are, acting as if you had never even heard of the concept!” She raised her hands in apparent exasperation, “I don’t even know why they pick up people like you anymore. The Circle has enough idiots to deal with without another one being dragged along…” As she said that, she looked pointedly at another person in the circle, sitting right beside me in the fire, their hood still drawn up. As she said it, they hung their head in apparent shame. I guess I wasn’t the only person here struggling to keep up.

Soon afterwards the conversation drifted to more complex matters, with Karkos, Ingenia, and the others getting deep into talk about different magical matters. All the while, the person with their hood up sat silently, watching the fire cast its flickering light over the smooth stone of the cliff.

        “Don’t listen to Ingenia, she’s usually tolerable— it’s just that we had quite a chore getting you out here, and she’s extra bitchy when’s tired.”

I turned, and the mute cloak had drawn back his hood and turned to face me. His brown hair hung in long ringlets around his head, and his thin, spindly glasses hung on the bridge of his nose, protecting a pair of cool blue eyes coloured like an iced over lake. It made me feel as if this guy had a certain complexity to him, a certain depth. Like the water beneath the thick layer of ice, all it needed was a bit of effort to break through the surface and into what lay below. His mouth was pulled in an amicable smile.

        “My name’s Welbret. Don’t worry; I’ve been where you are now. I’m still there, I guess. I was brought here, I dunno, six months ago, and I’m still finding it hard to wrap my head around this magic thing. I was supposed to getting a job as an accountant, but then of course they found me one day and insisted I came along. The way I looked at it, I didn’t have much to look forward to: Accountants were always the boring, know-it-all little nerds that sat down the back of the class with no friends, and that carried over into later life. I didn’t have many people I would consider close, and as it was I was really struggling to keep paying the bills in a job I really hated. When Karkos appeared on my doorstep a while ago, he ushered himself in to my dingy little apartment and explained to me why I was different from everyone else, why I was selected to come with him and the rest of the circle to Aetheria and start a new life. I didn’t even need to think about it, I was sick of always been looked down upon and trod on, and Karkos really made me feel I was part of something. As you saw though, some things never change…”

After he finished, he pushed his glasses back up his nose with a stubby little finger, before squinting through the glass and extracting a handkerchief from his pocket, gently clearing the lenses from dirt and debris. He was no older than 25, but already, even now, you could see greying strands working their way through his thick hair. Something about his face was familiar, like I had seen it before but I just couldn’t remember. It was on the tip of my tongue but it just wouldn’t come out. Case of Presque vu, I suppose. Seeing him clean his glasses so innocently and so docilely, I could help but like him.

        “Well then Welbret, we can work through this together. I’m brand new here, and you’re relatively new without a clue what’s going on. We’re both intelligent people; if we put our heads together we’ll work out something.” What was there to lose by making a new friend anyway? In a world where you’re as ignorant as a new born baby, you take any friends you can get.

       “I’d like that,” he said with a smile, “but unfortunately for now I’m exhausted. I need to get some sleep.” He stood up, and made his way to one of the three tents stationed on the perimeter of the campsite. “In the morning we’re setting off for the Sanctum, and wait and you see it, it’s unlike any castle you’ve ever seen”

      “I’m looking forward to it” I replied, smiling. “Goodnight!”

       “Goodnight Harlow! Goodnight everyone!”

A mumbled chorus of goodnights came from the rest of the group at the campsite as Welbret ducked under the canvas of the tent. Left alone with my thoughts again, and basking in the warmth of the fire, I couldn’t help but think how quickly things had changed over the last month or so. I was really starting to give up on the childish fairy-tale that we’re all meant to do something one day, and realizing more and more that it’s the same for everyone else; grow up, get an education, get a job, settle down with a nice family in a nice house in the suburbs, and wait for the day that you die. I just wasn’t able to reconcile with that though, the thought that I was just the same as everyone else. I guess I really was like everyone else then in a sense because I roamed the streets at night sometimes for the very same reason they did; hoping they’d find something, thinking that things are getting ready to happen in the dusk, in a pungent alley or on a dark corner.  It wasn’t until I came across a chance encounter with a mysterious stranger than granted me the chance to realize what was apparently my true potential. Here I was, the cynical, introspective journalist who was living and working in the big city living out my own personal fairy-tale, spread out in the outdoors under the vast sea of stars in an unknown world full of mystery and danger. I was on the brink of a new world, un-explored and ready to be discovered. And what’s more is that I was apparently chosen for something, specifically called upon for a particular purpose. But what could it be? Juno said they had been watching me for a long time, but for how long? And for what reason?

       “Karkos, where’s Juno?” I inquired, directing my question to the small group of people conversing around the fire in front of me.

He looked up “She had to move on ahead a few hours ago, the Sanctum had important matters to discuss with her. Why, did you want to ask her some questions?

         “Yes, but mostly I wanted to ask what she had changed my review to say to get Mr Mason so riled up?”

Karkos laughed again, chuckling darkly. “That’s for Juno to say, not me. It’s getting pretty late, Harlow, and you seem tired. The blue tent over there is free, if you want to take it” He pointed over to the blue tent situation between the cream one Welbret clambered into, and a grey one.

        “Thanks, I think I’ll take you up on the offer.” I rose up to my feet and began walking towards the tent. The group stopped talking, and Karkos rose up, addressing me directly

       “I’d advise getting a good night’s rest. You’ve got a long, eventful day ahead of you tomorrow”

I was confused. “Why, what’s happening tomorrow?”

Ingenia snorted indignantly. “The Ceremony of Ascension, you idiotic fool! Didn’t Juno bother telling you anything? I swear that forgetful old woman is getting far too old for her post”

        “Ingenia, that’s enough! We can’t expect Harlow here to know everything about Aetheria the moment he steps in. If I remember correctly, you were just like him not too long ago, an initiate without a clue about how things worked around here. Am I right?” Ingenia remained silent, staring at the ground. “I thought so! Try to be a little bit more sympathetic next time you’re talking to Harlow.” He turned back to me. “Now, where were we? Ah yes, tomorrow. Tomorrow is the Ceremony of Ascension. It’s where you come to realize your potential and come into contact with the magical element of your psyche, embedded deep within you. Be warned, it’s an exhausting, time-consuming process, so a significant amount of energy is required. That’s why I suggest you get a decent amount of sleep tonight, so you do well tomorrow.”

        “Okay,” I replied, quietly, to his explanation. I scurried away into the tent and lay down on the bedroll laid out on the bottom of the tent.  The Ceremony of Ascension? The magical side of my psyche? Again, all of this was thrown at me way too fast, how was I supposed to process all this by tomorrow? He said it wasn’t an easy process, and already I was finding myself nervous at the prospect of taking part in something so important and failing. How was I expected to connect with this dark, other side of my brain? Through some kind of meditative technique? Regardless of all this inner turmoil however I seen felt my eyelids get heavier and heavier, until eventually they were closed and then soon I was drifting away into my mind, dreaming. However, just before I gave into sleep, Welbret’s face came into mind and it was then that I recognized where I had seen it; it was the face on a series of missing person posters placed near my apartment complex. 

Synthetica

Synthetica, the forthcoming fifth studio album to be released by one of my favourite bands Metric, is due to be released in June 2012

Emily Haines, the lead singer has said that the album is 

“about forcing yourself to confront what you see in the mirror when you finally stand still long enough to catch a reflection. Synthetica is about being able to identify the original in a long line of reproductions. It’s about what is real vs what is artificial”

Totally looking forward to this! <3